Top Chef: Masters - It's my party ... (and I'll cry if I forgot my food)

I do not watch Top Chef - I've tried and it's just too gay - blech. But Top Chef: Masters is more interesting, or so I thought. The only chef I have recognized is the guy from aqua vit and apparently he's a dill weed - Marcus Samulsen. 
So tonight is largely about soul food - whatever that means.  
David Burke - um, yes, also a dill weed - will not buy any of his books.
Monica Pope - either needs more sleep or smokes too much, but makes a decent s'wich. Besides anyone that says high falooten (spell it - good luck w/that) can't be all bad. 
Carmen Gonzalez - how small is she?? Really does she have a little step stool in the kitchen?
Thierry Rautureau (or something like that) - cute hat - very freeench.
Egg on toothpick = Kelly Choi's head - really creepy. 

Monica wins the quick fire something. Feta and Farmer's Cheese (what is that exactly?) w/ dates on raisin and nut bread w/herb salad - works for me but she still needs more sleep or something for dark under-eye circles. 
Dill weeds (David and Marcus) thought they should win - here's my tiny violin just for you.
Birthday party for who? Who the frig is this guy? Mekhi Phifer - never heard of him. But I tend to limit my stupid TV watching to this show. 


Elimination Challenge:
Marcus - (dill weed 1) BBQ chicken, mac n cheese, collards - cliche - yes, we do eat other things in the south - unoriginal
Carmen - Yucca (yuck) and bacon mash w/ oyster and hot sausage stew w/corn. Maybe, just not my cup of tea
David (dill weed 2) Sweet potato custard w/ crab, hush puppies and pickled H2Omelon rind - huh?
Monica - shrimp n grits"mac n cheese" style (what does that mean) w/ okra and tomato jam - makes sense to me (Get more sleep).
Thierry - Moroccan pork shoulder, farro, roasted cauliflower and Brussel sprouts slaw - Farro? Really? blech. Cute hat and all but  - I'm just not getting it. But I'm not freeench.

Carmen forgets her food - please please please tell me someone refrigerated it over night. gross.
David (dill weed 2) quote "I have a charity I want to make money for and that charity is not named Carmen."
Marcus (dill weed 1) "I want to win and that's the most important thing." Um, yes, obviously. 
How many times can we see a Lexus logo? Dear lord, does this show really need to be a hour? Honestly.
Why isn't it surprising that Mr. Rogers James Oseland liked Brussel sprouts as a child? eeeewwww!
Two move on - Carmen and dill weed 1 (Marcus). Carmen looks shocked and she won money for the ASCPA  - how cool is that? Got to love the animals.