I hate green beer...

wrong wrong wrong

and lots of things that have to do with St. Patrick's Day celebrations in the United States. Wearing green on a particular day is annoying. It's one of my favorite colors to wear, but not because of some basically made up holiday. Don't tell me what to do - I don't like it. And if any body pinches me, they get popped one right in the chin. Parades... groan. Maybe it's because by now, we've been through Mardi Gras and the whole Carnival season, which is a huge regional celebration, and seen plenty of parades - more parades than is ever necessary - adding a green themed one is just annoying. Everyone pretending to be Irish for the day must be an insult to those that truly are Irish. It's sort of silly, really. And the biggest travesty is green beer. Who would do something like that? It's ridiculous, it's insulting to good beer, and it's just plain moronic. 

If you're going to celebrate St. Patrick's day, drink a real Irish beer - and the first one that comes to mind is one of my favorite beers of all time - Guinness. Guinness is complex. It's rich, slightly thick, tastes of coffee and chocolate and is creamy and smooth. It might be an acquired taste, but I think if people just went to it with an open mind instead of the "I don't like dark beer" mind set, it might be an easier transition from pale green swill that has been dyed green. 
So stop with the green beer already. 
Please.