Food Network (Humor)

Food Network Humor (if you've not checked this out and you watch Food Network -- you need to take a peek) listed their version of the five worst shows on Food Network. I have to say, I've not seen Cupcake War - really a war about cupcakes? Stupid. or the Neely's - no particular reason, just not seen it before. I have not seen Meat & Potatoes because that just sounds dumb. Shows like Outrageous Food never appeal to me. Intentional excess is just silly and kind of sad. I have seen Food Feuds and while I like Michael Symon - this is just another travel around and eat things show - with judgement involved.... kind of not nice in the end for the "loser" of the feud.
So this started me thinking. I've been watching Food Network a long time (years and years). What are my top five shows on Food Network?

#1 is so. very. simple.
Good Eats
AB rocks! I learn something every time I watch and I will watch episodes about things I can't even eat (seafood). The show if fast, funny, and very informative.This to be is clearly head and shoulders above anything else Food Network puts on. And has been for years. I still remember the first show I saw and I was instantly hooked. 1999 Season one Episode nine - A Bowl of Onion (Barbie and Ken were involved).


#2
Nigella (anything she does)
Nigella Lawson seems very comfortable cooking, baking, and talking at the same time. Her recipes are typically simple and quick and include pre-planning ideas which make it easy to come home from work and make dinner. She's calm and stable -- not running around all over the kitchen like some shows do.


#3
Jaime at Home
I know it's over, but those shows were good and again, I learned things and I liked the fact that he used his garden to source some of the food - cool.


#4
Well, now things are getting harder...maybe Iron Chef America (but only when they have real food people as judges and aren't dispatching live animals in front of me). I used to watch Giada at Home, but it was some much of the same over and over - and that annoy affectation of rolling into Italian every time an Italian work show up (spa get ti) -ugh. Secrets of a Restaurant Chef - Anne Burrell just got on my nerves - she's the anti-Nigella, Alex's Day Off - meh, but I do like her as a judge on ICA. Barefoot Contess has developed some annoying habits that started to get on my nerves ("really good" insert ingredient here, or "How easy is that" and the decorating the able (tablescapes anyone?) and her collection of gays (I don't care that they are gay, but don't they feel a little weird being used as props?)
I get the feeling that my cooking skills have somehow gone beyond some of the shows. Or maybe I've just gotten from them everything I need so far.


There are many shows I haven't watched because they just don't appeal to me (beyond those noted above).
Ace of Cakes - snore. I hear said snore is going to be canceled.
Anything Rachael Ray is in. She's so 2004.
Semi-Homemade with Sandra Lee - tablescapes? Really tablescapes? Blech.
Private Chefs of Beverly Hills - sounds eerily like Real Housewifes of (insert city here)
5 Ingredient Fix - meh
Anything with Guy Fieri - the clothes  should explain it all. 
The Best Thing I Ever Ate - Really don't care to see you get all gushy over the best (insert here) you've ever eaten. Watch the grammar here people.
Aarti Party - I had to watch the first episode to see if it would be a train wreck. It was.
Anything with Paula Dean. Where did the real Paula go? Have the aliens abducted her and sent a creepy replacement. She's just not right.
Ten Dollar Dinners - I'm not sure I want that.


Cook's Country and America's Test Kitchen are more up my alley now. They are my go to group for tested, straight forward, though sometimes time-intensive recipes. (And when are they going to send my someone to wash all the dishes I dirty in the process of making their great food?) I know I say it every time I mention them - but do yourself a favor and sign up - they are sooooo worth it. 

Is it cheating ...

Is it cheating at Thanksgiving to purchase all or part of the dinner already prepared? I've been thinking about this a lot lately. The only thing I've ever bought before (because I'm too chicken to make them) is Parker House rolls - which I love. But how far down the  slippery slope do you go when you purchase your turkey and a pie and maybe even the cornbread dressing?  I always called my mom to help me through the dressing, but since she's not here any more, I'm sort of at a loss. I don't want to do the first (fill in the blank) since my mom died, so I'm trying hard not it.  It's not quite Thanksgiving without smelling celery and onions first thing in the morning though. This year Thanksgiving will be for the four of us, me, the MotH*, the Boy** and my lovely mother-in-law. 
I'm accustomed to cooking for 8-12 people, so is it worth the work to do everything from scratch for just the 4 of us. So this year is an experiment... I am purchasing a few things and making the rest and we'll see how it goes. I may hate it. I may feel guilty (highly likely). Or, I might think it's the best thing I've done lately. We'll have to wait and see.  Why are holidays so full of things that are hard to deal with especially after someone is gone?


Full menu (w/recipes) to be posted on Turkey Day. 


*Man of the House
**I'll have to stop calling him the Boy in a few months - yikes!

End of Daylight Savings Time - crap

I officially hate it. Hate it. Did I mention that I hate it? Throws my whole damn day off -- and for what reason? Hell if I know. All I do know are some states and some counties w/in states don't participate. So I think we should start a Gulf Coast movement to depart from the time change.We need time after work to see some day light, sit on the porch sipping a beverage of choice.
We recently elected us a new mayor who will have more power than our old time (and good ol' boy) symbolic mayor. I think he might be up for the challenge. Wouldn't the tourism industry benefit? I know the locals would benefit (esp. this slightly daft one). Consider all the people with Seasonal Affective Disorder - it would have to help them. I know this happened two weeks ago, but I was giving my self time to adjust - I haven't. I've just gotten more irritated every evening going home in the damn dark. 
I say we take back our precious winter daylight and we do it now. Bring on the torches and the pitchforks.
End of Rant (for now...).

Chili Jj with (the best) Cornbread

Chili Simmering - note jalapeno

It's finally gotten cold enough here (in the great Gulf Coast) to start to want warming foods and my go-to cold (well, it's below 60 so that's at least cool weather) weather meal is chili and cornbread. While the chili takes some time to make it's important for it to have time to simmer and all the flavors mix. I often cook this on the weekend and don't serve it until mid week when all I have to do is mix and bake the cornbread and reheat the chili - simple night for me in the kitchen. 
The spices are an estimate of what I do because I don't measure w/spoons, but in the palm of my hand. Do not think the cinnamon stick is optional, it's not. 


Chili Jj
Adaption of El Cid Chili by Cid Prevost that I found in a Parade magazine years ago.
Ingredients
2 T olive oil
1 pound ground sirloin
2 hot Italian sausages, casings removed
2 mild Italian sausages, casings removed
1 large yellow onion, chopped
1/4 cup chili powder
1 Tbsp. cumin
1 Tbsp. McCormick Grill Mates Montreal Steak Seasoning
1 Tbsp. dried basil
1 Tbsp. dried oregano
2 (14.5 oz) cans of beef broth, low sodium
1 (28 oz) can of whole tomatoes
1 (28 oz) can of crushed tomatoes
1 cinnamon stick
1 jalapeno pepper, slit lengthwise
1 (14.5 oz) can of red kidney beans, rinsed well! (optional)

Ignore messy cooktop

Method:
Place oil in a large heavy pot over medium heat. Brown sirloin, sausage, and onion. Use a potato masher to break down meat into similar consistencies. Stir in remaining ingredients, except beans. Bring to boil, reduce heat, and simmer for 2 hours, stirring occasionally. Break up the whole tomatoes as you stir. With approximately 30 minutes remaining, add the beans and stir well. Before serving, discard cinnamon stick and jalapeno. Garnish with the usual suspects and serve with or over cornbread. 

Best. Cornbread. Ever.

Sour Cream Cornbread (simple and delicious)

Ingredients:

1 cup self-rising cornmeal

2 eggs

1 small can of cream-style corn

1 cup sour cream

1/2 cup vegetable oil

Method: Combine all ingredients, mixing well. Pour into a greased 9" x 9" pan. Bake at 400 degrees for 20-30 minutes. This recipe comes from a great friend and I can't make cornbread any other way. It's outstanding. Oh, and did I say it was simple? Because it's really simple. 

Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day - Winifred Watson

Summary: Miss Pettigrew is a down-on-her luck, middle-aged governess sent by her employment agency to work for a nightclub singer rather than a household of unruly children. Over the period of 24 hours, her
life is changed forever 


Comments: I must admit I saw this movie before I read the book - which is not at all what I typically do. The movie was lovely especially with Ciaran Hinds (he can't do anything wrong in my book), but Frances McDormand stole the show - she was funny and charming and practical all at the same time - which is exactly what Miss Pettigrew is in the book. Smart, maybe not worldy, but full of common sense and quick on her feet. She's the kind of friend you would want in a tight spot. And nightclub singer Delysia Lafosse (don't you just love that name) is apparently always in some fix or another as she is juggling several men at one time - including the one that is just right for her. In addition to helping Delysia out of whatever jam she's in at present, Miss Guinivere Pettigrew does her best to assist Delysia's friends and in the process meets Edythe DuBarry and her older boyfriend Joe Bloomfield. For a book that takes place during the period of only one day, so much happens and so much of it is just pure fun, this is a easy and great read. I'm surprised it took so long before it was made into a movie. But read the book first - that's always the best way to do it.

Everything Austen II - Northanger Abbey - Jane Austen

Summary: Seventeen year--old daughter of a clergyman, Catherine Morland, leaves her small community with friends Mr. and Mrs. Allen for her first trip to Bath. While there Catherine is introduced to the charming Henry Tilney and becomes friends with his sister Eleanor. She also meets the daughter and son of an old friend of Mrs. Allen, Isabella and John Thorpe. General Tilney invites Catherine to spend time with his daughter Eleanor at their home in Northanger Abbey.

Comments (some spoilers): I came to Northanger Abbey rather late... ie. There was nothing left of Miss Austen's to read but this, so I read it. The first time, I wasn't sure what I thought - it seemed a bit silly, but the second time I started to see that Catherine was an experiment. Described early on as basically a tom boy, she was not set out to do great things, but as she grew older, she became a sweet girl who wanted to look for something new. She was so young and so naieve, but she was slowly learning, sometimes the hard way, what the world was about. She's also been very influenced by her recent reading of Gothic
novels. She has an internal strength that won't let Isabella or John Thorpe or even her beloved brother make her do the improper thing. She has a devotion to Henry Tilney that of course makes it easy for him to love her and a love of Eleanor Tilney as the type of true friend worth having. Were she a bit older, she might be more like Elizabeth Bennet. If that were the case, she would have seen through Isabella very early on, but Catherine has seen so little of the world, that it just wasn't possible. Just like her inability to understand why Captain Tilney acts in the way that he does when it seems so very clear to her that he is in the wrong. But she also has the ability to manage to get home from Northanger Abbey alone when the time abruptly comes. 


I just love the description of Mrs. Allen. "Mrs. Allen was one of that numerous class of females, whose society can raise no other emotion than surprise at there being any men in the world who could like them well enough to marry them." Her fascination with dress and have aquanticenes in Bath, was amusing.
Henry Tilney is the most charming of Austen's heros. From the very beginning he is witty, fun, smart -- and utter charmer. I can see why so many Janeites are on Team Tilney. No brooding Mr. Darcy, no resentful Captain Wentworth here, just a lovely intelligent guy with a fun sense of humor who can't help but fall in love with Catherine since it's so obvious that she is in love with him.
One of my favorite lines after a conversation between Catherine and Miss Tilney: "This civility was duly returned; and they parted -- on Miss Tilney's side with some knowledge of her new acquaintance's feelings, and on Catherine's, without the smallest consciousness of having explained them."
I've made my feeling clear on Isabella and John Thorpe before, so I won't belabor the point

All in all, I've come to enjoy Northanger Abbey and Catherine and Tilney make a lovely couple.

Talk Like Jane Austen Day - October 30th

Talk Like Jane Austen Day - October 30th
What a great idea - Talk like Jane Austen for a day - This will certainly be difficult, but I shall do my best. I do not often shrink from a challenge and besides this should confuse the Boy to the point of driving him to distraction. How the lovely puppies will take this is entirely unknown. The MotH will be his usual heroic self and tolerate my strange take on the English language. 

Agatha Christie - Reading in Order

This started because my mom's favorite mystery writer was Agatha Christie. About a month after my mom died, I decided to read Agatha Christie in order - I've read several before and seen the recent
BBC/Mystery shows, but in my mind to get a sense of an author, it's best to start at the beginning. So I did. So far, I've read The Mysterious Affair at Styles (1920), The Secret Adversary (1922), Murder on the Links (1923), and The Man in the Brown Suit (1924). I'm currently in the middle of Poirot Investigates (1924) which is a book of short story mysteries, each a chapter a piece so it's a little change of pace. I'm hoping to finish that this weekend and start The Secret of Chimneys (1925) next. I can't really say I have a favorite so far, but I did enjoy Affair at Styles quite a bit - it's rather ambitious for a first publication. Murder on the Links didn't do much for me, but it gave me a better understanding of Poirot and Hastings.  It will also be interesting to see how (if) Ms. Christie's style changes over the many many years that she published. I've not come across Miss Marple yet, but I'm sure it won't be long.
Thankfully, I own several of Ms. Christie's books already. In fact, one set is from my mom that she purchased in the 1990s. But I've been purchasing the ones I don't own. I realize that I could borrow them from the library, but I've had a terrible time doing that. I've had to return too many books to the library unread because they set off my allergies - mostly to cigarette smoke -- it's unfortunate, but it's true. So I spend a little here and there to complete my collection. Hopefully, the boy, who has shown an interest in mysteries, will be interested in carrying on the tradition.

Miss Austen's Icky Characters

Miss Austen does a good job of creating some really icky smarmy characters.With few words, describing certain characters and letting them speak for themselves, she creates characters that just make your skin crawl because of the ick factor. Here are a few for consideration in no particular order.

Mr. Collins: I do think he is the height of icky in Miss Austen's works. He's just sleezy in trying (ha!) to attract on the Bennet girls because he feels some (supposed) responsibility to them for the entail. Even Elizabeth acknowledges that is just dumb. "He must be an oddity, I think," said she (Elizabeth). I cannot make him out - There is something very pompous in his style -- And what can he mean by apologising for being next in the entail? -- We cannot suppose he would help it if he could - Could he be a sensible man, sir?" I think we all know the answer to that. He certainly came to admire the Bennet daughters, but it certainly didn't stop him from admiring his future home either (creepy). I do enjoy Mr. Bennet's ability to poke fun at Mr. Collins without the latter being aware. But his confession of love and admiration for Elizabeth are just disgusting, insincere, pompous - completely false as proven by his engagement to Charlotte Lucas only days later - blech.

Mr. Elton: What's up with the clergy? Insinuating, haughty, and false. He pretends to be paying attention to Harriet Smith, which is exactly what Emma wants, but all the time, he's trying to make himself attractive to Emma herself. Just a BIT above his station, but he didn't seem to recognize that. That was until the painful truth was brought to bear on him on the way home from the Christmas party at the Weston's. "It is impossible for me to doubt any longer. You have made yourself too clear. Mr. Elton, my astonishment is much beyond any thing I can express. After such behaviour, as I have witnessed during the last month, to Miss Smith - such attentions as I have been in the daily habit of observing - to be addressing me in this manner - this is an unsteadiness of character, indeed, which I had not supposed possible! Believe me, sir, I am far, very far, from gratified in being the object of such professions." As one can imagine an declaration like that to a pompous man, can seriously damage his ego. So, off to Bath he goes to find a wife....


And his lovely wife Mrs. Elton: Who turns out to be even worse that him, if that's possible. While she may have ten thousand pounds (though we're never really clear on that, are we??), she is base, crass, insinuating and just plain annoying. "When the visit was returned, Emma made up her mind. She could then see more and judge better. From Harriet's happening not to be at Hartfield, and her father's being present to engage Mr. Elton, she had a quarter of an
hour of the lady's conversation to herself, and could composedly attend to her; and the quarter of an hour quite convinced her that Mrs. Elton was a vain woman, extremely well satisfied with herself, and thinking much of her own importance; that she meant to shine and be very superior, but with manners which had been formed in a bad school, pert and familiar; that all her notions were drawn from one set of people, and one style of living; that if not foolish she was ignorant, and that her society would certainly do Mr. Elton no good."The way she tries to become top of society and place herself with Emma is just too much and such a benefactress to Jane Fairfax. Poor Jane, she deserves so much better. I think Emma says it best. ""Insufferable woman!" was her immediate exclamation. "Worse than I had supposed. Absolutely insufferable! Knightley!—I could not have believed it. Knightley!—never seen him in her life before, and call him Knightley! —and discover that he is a gentleman! A little upstart, vulgar being, with her Mr. E., and her caro sposo, and her resources, and all her airs of pert pretension and underbred finery. Actually to discover that Mr. Knightley is a gentleman! I doubt whether he will return the compliment, and discover her to be a lady. I could not have believed it! And to propose that she and I should unite to form a musical club! One would fancy we were bosom friends! And Mrs. Weston!— Astonished that the person who had brought me up should be a gentlewoman! Worse and worse. I never met with her equal. Much beyond my hopes. Harriet is disgraced by any comparison." Enough said. 

Mr. Elliot: Smarmy - that's about all I can say. Anne describes him as being correct in manner and information, but he's not open. Do you know if what you see is what you get with Mr. Elliot - em no. Thank goodness for Mrs. Smith confirming what Anne had all along suspected. She was never in any danger from falling for him since her love for Capt. Wentworth knew no end, but it's nice to have the confirmation and the ammunition. His ending in London with a certain freckled woman was perfect if you ask me. "Mr Elliot was rational, discreet, polished, but he was not open.There was never any burst of feeling, any warmth of indignation or delight, at the evil or good of others. This, to Anne, was a decided imperfection. Her early impressions were incurable. She prized the frank, the open-hearted, the eager character beyond all others." Mrs. Smith describes him as, "Hear the truth, therefore, now, while you are unprejudiced. Mr Elliot is a man without heart or conscience; a designing, wary, cold-blooded being, who thinks only of himself; whom for his own interest or ease, would be guilty of any cruelty, or any treachery, that could be perpetrated without risk of his general character. He has no feeling for others.Those whom he has been the chief cause of leading into ruin, he can neglect and desert without the smallest compunction. He is totally beyond the reach of any sentiment of justice or compassion. Oh! he is black at heart, hollow and black!" Pretty damning condemnation.

Mrs. Clay: What can one say but insinuating? She's certainly out for what she can get out of her relationship with Elizabeth Elliot and dare we say also with Sir Walter. "From situation, Mrs Clay was, in Lady Russell's estimate, a very unequal, and in her character she believed a very dangerous companion; and a removal that would leave Mrs Clay behind, and bring a choice of more suitable intimates within Miss Elliot's reach, was therefore an object of first-rate importance." It seems everyone is on to Mrs. Clay's game, but it does not deter her. "Mrs Clay had freckles, and a projecting tooth, and a clumsy wrist, which he was continually making severe remarks upon, in her absence; but she was young, and certainly altogether well-looking, and possessed, in an acute mind and assiduous pleasing manners, infinitely more dangerous attractions than any merely personal might have been. Anne was so impressed by the degree of their danger, that she could not excuse herself from trying to make it perceptible to her sister." She just really creeps me out.

John Thorpe: I've said he's hateful, but he's also icky. He's pushy and bossy. He lies to elevate himself and then lies to sink Catherine - which he almost did. "Could she have foreseen such a circumstance, nothing should have persuaded her to go out with the others; and, as it was, she could only lament her ill luck, and think over what she had lost, till it was clear to her that the drive had by no means been very pleasant and that John Thorpe himself was quite disagreeable."Indeed.

Lucy Steele: Is Lucy Steele the female version of Mr. Elliot? She seems like it to me. All for what she can get. Smarmy, inscinsere. calculating. Everything a true lady is not (see: Elinor Dashwood). "Could he ever be tolerably happy with Lucy Steele; could he, were his affection for herself out of the question,with his integrity, his delicacy, and well-informed mind, be satisfied with a wife like her - illiterate, artful and selfish?" Not likely. 

Agatha Christie

Have started reading Agatha Christie in publishing order. Too much fun.