26 April 2010

Top Chef Masters - Pub Food

Well, I watched it again this week. Largely because they were brining back some losers from last season. So who do we have? Rick Moonen, Wylie Dufresne (hate the hair Wylie), Mark Peel (who?), Graham Elliot Bowles (bowls of what?), Jonathan Waxman (a fav), Ludo Lefebvre (I'm freeench). 
It's always so interesting to see them line up - body language is an interesting thing. 
Gee - do you think stoli is a sponsor?
QuickFire Challenge: (they need music for this or something)
Coriander Mule - I have no idea what a mule is, but I like coriander... so maybe? (maybe not). (Graham - Crudo of Black Cod with Edamame and Red Onion Salad)
Forest Fruits (Moonen -  Cream Biscuit Berry Shortcake)
Lemongrass Mojito - has potential (Waxman - Pork Tenderloin and Poblano Stuffed Shrimp with Avocado Butter)
Nutmeg Apple Mojito (Ludo - Roasted Pork Chop with Rosemary, Thyme, Garlic) maybe?
Russian Tearoom (Wylie - Arctic Char with Lentils, Bacon, Crispy Potatoes, and Lemon Yogurt) Lemon Yogurt, really?
Ginger Figgle (what the frig is a Figgle?) (Peel - Mussel Custard with Lime and Figs) um...
French guy is bitching as usual. What a total whiner. So we must make a dish to go with our obviously sweet (in most cases) drink - not something I'd like to try. Cocktails are for before food - beer and wine go with food. 
Waxman has an interesting, and likely correct thought. Orange County Housewives (what a travesty of a female life) would probably want little tidbits... that way they don't have to eat much and ruin the plastic surgery (and fake tans and bad jewelry and slutty outfits... I could go on, but I won't). 
Only gay guys wear white framed glasses - Graham. 
Edamame seems to throw the OC skanks gals. How sad, you are obviously as dumb as you look. 
OML - I agree with Ludo - "sad that people like that judge us." I could not agree more. It's just like on Iron Chef America - they have gone from Jeffrey Steingarten to bimbo actresses and people that have nothing to do with food.  [BTW - despite what I thought -- Jeffrey is married. Now who could put up w/him??]
Perfect - Waxman totally called it and wins - and in (amazingly) the least amount of time. 
Elimination Challenge:
Me love the Pub.  Wait - no ploughmans? That ain't a respectable pub... sorry. 
Moonen - is that a toupee - if so, why does it not cover the bald spot you have? Weird. 
So here's the break down (after Ludo's whining - what a fricking baby):
Bangers n' Mash - Wylie
Steak & Kidney Pie - Graham
Toad in the Hole - Mark Peel (toad, funny)
Fish n' Chips - Moonen (why is it sometimes & and sometimes n')
Shepherd's Pie - Waxman
Irish Stew - Ludo 
Off we go shopping - what's up with the cart elevator - how cool is that (obviously, I live in a backwater). Wylie makes a funny "Do you want me to read the bag for you?" Talk about pissing off a freeench guy. he he. Ludo is a dill weed and has a total potty mouth. Here's simple Waxman again - I'm not going to try and razzle dazzle them - excellent notion since it worked the first time. He's like some sort of zen master...cool.
Ludo wants to put love in his dish - with a mouth like that - um, yeah, not so much.
Peel - never, ever, say you're in good shape - it's the kiss of death. 
COMMERCIAL - Vote on who you'd like to hang out w/in a pub - Wylie, Graham, Ludo - um we'll give that a pass - ick.
Ludo's still whining... jeez frenchy give it a rest.
10 minutes and counting - and um, yep again, Waxman is done - wth? He's a hoot. 
Ludo - do we just love to hate him cause it's so damn easy - he's plate is art - yeah with crap smeared on it. Judging Gael, Gail and Jay - love Jay.
Then it's flatter and puke time - groan. 
Waxman - 18 1/2 has anyone ever had that many points - sweet. Jeez simple food prevails again. Graham called Waxman Chef Obiwan - I think he might be right. Again under time limits too. 
Peel 9 1/2 not surprising. Poor Toad.
Ludo 11 ouch - bye bye - very strange - uncooked potatoes, etc. 
Graham - 13 1/2 and they nag him for not liking kidney - who does? But kidney vinaigrette for steak and kidney pie - um, not so much. 
WD - 14 1/2 v.g. and deservedly so.
Rick - 16 not surprising and I'm glad for him. It seemed like he made good choices and had a good amount of flavor. 

NEXT WEEK: Modern Family - one of my favorite shows. 
Questions: Does it really take a half hour to show the judging? How do you just eat course after course of food? Did Gael really leave a full Guinness? What?

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